Ultimate Warrior Kills Ohio Professional Wrestler

by Antonio Rizzo

SPRINGFIELD, OHIO (EAP) - A Springfield professional wrestler was killed yesterday when his plastic Ultimate Warrior dashboard figure was driven into his chest by his car's airbag which inflated during an accident involving two other vehicles.

19-year-old Darren Fulps known in the ring as "Dingo Darren" a name he chose to pay homage to the early career of the Ultimate Warrior. He was driving around his hometown of Springfield was apparently holding his Ultimate Warrior figure close to his chest when he ran through a red light and collided with two other vehicles in a busy intersection.

"The air bag inflated and pushed the head of Ultimate Warrior straight through his heart," said Tom Young, medical examiner at the scene of the accident. "If it wasn't for the plastic Ultimate Warrior, Mr. Fulps would still be alive today."

"Air bags have saved thousands of lives, but in this case it actually took a life, thanks to Ultimate Warrior," said police officer Graham Pryor, first officer at the scene.

Robert Fulps, Darren's father and lifetime professional wrestling fan said "It was just our son's time to go, and we can't question the actions of Ultimate Warrior. My son loved Ultimate Warrior and worshipped him."

"We gave our son the Ultimate Warrior figure for his birthday last year, and he really liked it," said Mrs. Gladys Fulps. "It's too bad that Ultimate Warrior ended up killing him, but we believe he's in the big wrestling ring in the sky now, and we're happy for him, and hope to re-unite with him in the giant squared-circle someday."

"We're just glad our son had Ultimate Warrior, his passion, in his heart and mind even when he died," said Mr. and Mrs. Fulps.